Why David, Martha and Mary???

"Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life." Psalm 139:23-24 (MSG)
 
After praying Psalm 139 for long, I finally realized that I was reciting the Psalm but not praying the Psalm.  I was well aware of what King David was asking God to do, but like Martha I was too busy making sure thing were "in order" with my ministry to be like Mary and be at Jesus' feet to really hear what He was saying to me concerning me.  It was in the midst of another series of hurtful events concerning the ministry, that I heard the Holy Spirit ask me "are you ready to change or do you want to go through this cycle again?"  The key was "Am I ready to change..." What was I doing wrong?  Like Martha, I was so busy looking at what everyone else was doing wrong, that I did not pay attention to my own role. Not that I was not aware that I had some hand in it, but in my mind I was erring on the side of church protocol, policies and directives from my Bishop and allowed myself to have tunnel vision as to the real issue, being "Martha" and being like "Mary".  Anyone who knows me, knows that King David, second to Christ, is my favorite biblical figure.  He was first and foremost a worshiper. What fascinated me more about him, as I began to study David, was that David was far from perfect, and yet he had the heart of God.  I was encouraged because i thought if God can do it for him, He surely will do it for me.  and to boot, David did not have the benefit of Christ who redeemed us, but the Law and God's Mercy. 

Tired and frustrated with myself, I finally made up in my mind that I had to change, that I had to do things differently, I had to really look introspectively, even if it meant going back down memory lane to the painful memories that kept me bound.  The first thing I realized is that while I had moved on, I had not forgiven myself and others for the pain they caused and the guilt I carried because of I what perceived to be my failures.  It was those unforgiven memories that kept me in the vicious cycle of frustration, hurt and annoyance.  Again, I would recite "everything works together for the good of those who love God..." but when it came time to apply it to my life, I fell back into a state of disappointment in myself and others, and it all became entangled in my "Black Widow's Web". 

I once again went back to David, a man known for being "a man after God's own heart", so I decided that I wanted to be a "Woman after God's own heart", I looked at Martha and saw so much of my own character, not only in my daily life abut in my ministry and even my prayer life and realized, I want to be like Mary, never missing an opportunity to enjoy the presence of God when He shows up.  Thus the journey begins...

Psalm 139:1-16, (MSG)
God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I'm an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of your sight. You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there, too— your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful— I can't take it all in! 7-12 Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you're there! If I go underground, you're there! If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon, You'd find me in a minute— you're already there waiting! Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you. 13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.  
23-24 Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life.